What's Your Nail?

A few months ago (March 2019), I was invited to a local leadership conference. Someone, a local well respected, amazing woman opened the day with one of the biggest, heaviest, lightest, most powerful impact message of the day (at least for me).... And a mentor and I still reference this message regularly. She said... 

"When the nail you're laying on hurts enough... you'll get off that nail." What nail are you on? 

I heard this message and it immediately resonated with me. I knew what my nail was. I KNEW... I looked directly at my mentor... I looked immediately at another friend of mine who I just had this conversation with about 2 minutes before this amazing woman spoke... and we knew this was for us. We knew what the nail was. We knew this message was for us. 

I had been on a mission for the last 2+ years to find a new seat on the bus. My current place of employment has been my bus for over 8 years. I had drank the koolaid, hook-line-n-sinker, all in, totally sold for this place since day 1. I had been so in love with my job... but sitting here on that particular day, taking notes of every word this life changing message... I knew what my nail was. I knew that I'd been on this nail for +2 years. I knew I needed this nail to get me to move forward with my life and find the role that gave me joy and I wouldn't keep trying to find this joy if not for the nail. But the nail has hurt me so bad. 

I have loved LOVED my job and not once had I thought about leaving. Not once... But this nail hurts... 

I equate this pain to the same pain you feel in a marriage. I have been so in love and so happy. I'm finally at a place where I can't deal with this nail anymore. And not feeling loved or valued by someone is, for me, one of the worst feelings in the world. It is devastation for me. It rips at me to the core of my being and affects my day to day. I should be in the peak of my life right now given that I just married the love of my life, have amazing kids who are also doing so good... but yet... I have been in a funk and sad. It feels like my work marriage isn't working anymore. And no one wants to make a decision to break up a marriage. 

Over the last couple of years, I have investigated into what makes me happy at my work... what was giving me joy? what did i excel in? where did i feel most comfortable? These were questions I spent several months exploring to see what I could look for. But my company isn't ready for someone like me to make a career shift. I was very selective when I would apply or interview for something. I spent a long time exploring what my options were. And lots of self-reflection and exploration. 

So what happens when all the doors are shut and the answers are no? You do your due-diligence and make sure you've checked all the i's and crossed the t's? What do you do? What do you do when you've explored all possible options? 

Do you know what your nail(s) is? When is enough, simply enough? When are you gonna get off that nail? Can you? 

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