What they mean when they say "You do You"

Do you know where you want to go? 

A few years ago, I started on a journey of figuring out what I wanted to be when I "growed up", as Mady says. Its been a LONG FEW YEARS... This was after my divorce, after I completed some major event-projects at work, through this, I really found my work passion and what I wanted to focus on going forward personally and professionally. 

Some of the things I realized, after doing the first major project are: I needed to get it together... I realized I needed some serious insight into myself. I needed to explore who I really am, what do I really want... where do I want to see myself, realistically, in 5, 10, 25 years? What drives me, makes me happy? I realized I needed to take some time for myself and heal, explore what makes me tick, motivates me, what do I want not just for my life but for my kids! I realized... #1 this life isn't about me. #2 I can't know where I'm going if I don't know where I've been and what got me here #3 This is something everyone needs. So i need to share. 

It took some soul searching, some focus and forgiving myself and a lot of other people for me to get to a place where I started to learn about myself. Before my divorce, I did a year long leadership/development program at work where we took several personality profile assessments. We did a lot of training. A lot of discovery on what makes us tick, how to work with other people, how to handle conflict and situations that make us uncomfortable and it fueled me to continue learning. I mean, I've always been someone who loves to learn the how, figure out the insides of things, but this development course really sparked something in me that I have continued to pursue since and what I went to college to begin. I love figuring out why people do the crap they do! I got my bachelors in Psychology simply for this reason!!! It's just manifested even more now... I have continued to learn and continued to ask myself - is this what you want? is this acceptable for you? what can YOU control to improve your circumstances? 

You have seen these magical success stories, in fact, Memphis was recently in the news because a local high school senior recently got $3M in Scholarships, Graduates With 4.3 GPA While Homeless. LINK HERE As you can see, anything is possible if you put your mind to it and try! This is what I believe for any of us! You can become anything you want... you just have to believe it and put forth effort - nothing in this world is free, if you think it is, you're lying to yourself, being lied to or you're too naive. 

I tell my kids: if you don't like something about yourself, change it. 

My daughters and I talk about their friends a while back, about why it's so important to choose your friends wisely. I told them, I'm constantly using the people I work with and meet to make wise choices for myself because whether you think so or not, people have influence over you. People constantly push you to do things their way, invite you along for things, encourage you to try 'blah', etc...  For this reason, you You have to pick the good things you like about people that you would like to emulate. You have to pick the bad things about people that you want to avoid. And you have to use discernment about when it's time to rotate your friends in and out. Friends usually do come in for a season... but they're not always meant to be in your life. Sometimes, enough is enough and you have to be wise in realizing when they're a drain on you and not productive in your life any longer. 

Not everyone is fit to bare your cross. 

One of the hardest lessons in life to learn... you have to be very cautious about who you let into your life, your heart, your soul. You can't allow people who are unhealthy come in and wreck you. You can't depend on people continuously who are not dependable. You can't assume someone in your life will be there for you just because you're there for them. That's not how life works. You have to guard your heart with extreme diligence because who you let in NOT CAN but will make or break you. Guard your heart. Guard you mind. Guard your soul... you have to have a few very close friends who you can depend on and let them be there for you. but not everyone is your friend. Guard who you let speak into your life, but DO FIND THOSE WHO CAN! 

As I went through the process of discovering who I was, I sought a lot of counsel from those I loved and trusted. I let people tell me when I messed up, I still ask to be corrected or shown when I mess up, when I made mistakes and I try to learn from them. You have to be open to someone being able to tell you, in love, when you F UP. You have to take ownership for your actions! You can't correct yourself if you don't know what's wrong. You can't improve. You can't DO YOU. 

My parting words... for this blog... 

• Steal the good stuff from people that will make you a better person. 
• Be careful who you let into your life, to help you, love you and guide you
• Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and real. 
• Accept help, correction, love and support 
• ALWAYS learn. ALWAYS improve. ALWAYS make yourself more better.
• ALWAYS be YOU.